Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Silence...

The weekend has taken it's toll. The finale- a girlfriend who has recently been divorced calling me and using my ear for two hours. I had felt the oncomings of a headache all day. You know the feeling. You just feel... off. Like something is nagging at the back of your brain and you can't shake it. It came to fruition while on the phone, and by the end of the conversation I was happily chugging down a few aspirin, wishing I had taken them an hour earlier.

I hung up the phone, and wearily went upstairs to go to bed. My husband snipped at me about answering the phone in the first place once I saw it was her (caller ID- man's greatest invention), and about the fact that I didn't tell my mother I couldn't take her to the airport to drop off my aunt the next morning. I had a business breakfast, and had to drive quite far to get there, come back, pick up my aunt, go get my mother, go out to the airport, and all the way back to my mother's before getting back home.

The look I gave him shut him up in his tracks. By now my head was pounding a drum symphony in my temples, and I felt nauseous. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, and crawled gingerly into bed, as any sudden movements or collapsing into bed would certainly have caused me more pain.

Not comfortable on my back. Not comfortable on my side. I tried to focus on my breathing, but as waves of nausea kept coming over me, I gave up and succumbed to the surreal ride I was going on. I think I passed in and out of sleep, because I had the strangest visions that could certainly not be called dreams at all. Incomprehensible. Had me questioning if I really took asprin at all, or maybe to check the date on the bottle.

Looking at the clock somewhere in one of my conscious states, I saw it was only 12:45am. I had gone upstairs at 11:30, certainly it seemed more time had passed! The headache was lowering to a dull ache, but I knew I would not be getting up at 5:30am to go to the breakfast. I switched my alarm, changed my husbands back to his normal time since he would not have to get up with the kids now in my place, and went downstairs for some water.

The next morning, I am up and the house is a buzz with kids getting ready for school and my aunt putting her last minute items together. No time to make coffee- an Starbucks is definitely in my immediate future. When I called my neighbor to tell her the kids were on their way over, I told her about my night briefly, she had said I didn't sound so good on the phone. I was still feeling somewhat nauseated, but my head certainly felt better. She said I should maybe see the doctor. I laughed, someone on-line last night said the same thing. Both my mother and my aunt said it sounded like the beginnings of a migraine. I've never had one before, but if what I felt last night was just the beginning... yuk!

So we gather our things, and my aunt and I leave for my mother's. She is chatting loudly all the way (well she is from Brooklyn). I'm having thoughts of duct tape and her mouth. She keeps asking why I'm so quiet? Oy...

So, we gather my mother (who is 10 miles in the opposite direction of the airport), and they are laughing and yukking it up while I travel BACK to my house. My aunt left her ticket and boarding pass on the kitchen counter. Of course. SIGH. That is another 6 miles out of the way. Then finally we get on the road to the airport. I'm wondering if asking my mother to take a cab home would be insensitive, even if I paid for it...

We say our goodbyes, tearful for the sisters. But I am going to see her again in a couple of weeks when I go to NY for my convention. My mother is chatting non-stop now about the past days with her sister, and seeing her granddaughters. I soften a bit. She doesn't drive, and always feels so isolated. My girls just adore her, and I saw that several times over the weekend. If Bret were in the car with me I would have told him that THIS was the reason I go out of my way. I know it's appreciated, even if it's never said. The joy in her voice and on her face was enough for me.

We get back to her place, and she hands me a card for my birthday, since I won't be around on Thursday. I smile, and she kisses me goodbye and wishes me good travels.

I drive off, and grab my cell phone.

"Hi Honey." my husband said (gotta love that caller ID!).

"Listen..." I said. "There is NO ONE in the car with me."

He chuckled. "Now go home and crash for a bit, since you had a rough night."

We said our goodbyes, and I got home. Got on the computer to write my thoughts out. I would like to crash- oh certainly I would.

But the next adventure awaits. And I must get packing.

1 comment:

susiebell said...

As someone who has migraines on a daily basis, it definitely sounds like you're getting them, Dani. There are meds they can give you to keep them from coming on if you see the right doctor. Beth