Sunday, April 24, 2005

An Aunt Grows In Brooklyn

I have three aunts on my mother's side. One is non-existant. Alcoholic, in her 50's, doesn't have her life straight. Unfortunately though she lives in AZ, I never see her. I just don't need that negative energy around my children, around me.

There is also my favorite Aunt. I shouldn't play favorites, but I do. She is the youngest of the sisters, she was just 13 when I was born. She took care of me alot when my mother was working or just generally not around. I was flower-girl in her wedding, 25 years ago in 2006. She gave me her wedding dress to wear at my wedding. I can tell her the deepest, darkest parts of my soul and she would listen and still love me. Can't even do that with my very best friend. I call her surrogate Mom, but she is so much more than that to me.

My Aunt Deb is who is visiting. She is one of the two middle sisters, the other being my mother. So they of course have close kinship. She is so much like my mother it is, well...

Nutty. Neither of them drive, so I chauffeur them everywhere. Of course I join them, but feel quite the disconnect to them. They are people who cannot have silence. Always must be saying something, usually in joke form. I joked with them that I have two sets of daughters here now, four children. THEY LAUGH. I was more serious than anything else.

Don't get me wrong, I love my aunt and my mother. I believe it is my mother who is giving me more issue, as I have so much unresolved stuff there when it comes to her. I can only take her in very, very, very, small doses. Now I've seen her every day since Thursday- and still have three more days to go.

My kids are a nice buffer. My husband has noticed my tension, and has been wonderful. Deb stayed at my mother's last night. When I was leaving to take them home, he said the most beautiful thing he's ever said to me:

"If you need to, take as long as you want driving back home honey." Sigh, he knows I need my space.

So today we go off to an old Ghost town near the Superstition mountains. City girl that I am, I love this place, and the kids enjoy it too. I know I will enjoy it, as I have my buffers with me. Heeheeee...

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