Saturday, March 31, 2012

40 To 40 Day 12: On Boyfriends

You know what we're listening to? Air Supply! 
When I was 14 years old and a freshman in High School, I met the man one day I would marry. I was pretty flirty then, and we were on our way to Regionals in February of '87. Bret was in choir and I was in orchestra. Yep- it's a freakin' Glee episode. I sat next to him on the bus as we were leaving and leaned against him, asking if the seat was taken. He said no, and offered me a Certs (I just hope it wasn't because I needed one!). The rest of the weekend we were inseparable other than needing to rehearse and perform.

Within a week we were ditching classes to be together, mostly because with my home situation I wasn't really allowed to do much. I was allowed to go with him to his Jr. Prom. That summer Bret went to visit a friend of his in Hawaii, and we wrote back and forth to each other continuously. Written by HAND with a pen. Well, for a lot of it. That was also the year we got our first computer so I did write a few letters on the Apple IIC (see I owned an Apple computer once!).

Anyway, once school started again we still wanted to see each other, but my step-father didn't want that anymore. I tried to make it all work, and I think the only reason Bret and I worked concessions at our school football games was so we could have that walk home through the park together. But when your crazy parent starts showing up at school to make sure you aren't seeing each other between classes, and following you home to make sure no one is with you, well, it gets a little exhausting. I finally gave up, and ended it. It was easier, and I had a secret I couldn't let out.

Obviously, we got another shot, but not until I got my problems taken care of. Oh yeah, and we were both seeing other people. I have to say I'm pretty happy it worked out the way it did. Some would call it meant to be or soulmates. I look at it like we got a second chance at a first time.

So now here I am a parent of a nearly 15-year-old girl, who is totally gaga over her boyfriend. I don't blame her, he's a cutie. AND the sweetest guy. He's so kind and thoughtful and good to her. When Allison took that knee to the head at her game last week, the second the whistle blew signaling the end he was up and by her side. I like him. It takes some maneuvering so they can see each other since they are at different schools, but that's ok. I like being in control of when they see each other. ;)

He really reminds me of Bret at that age. Just a good, kind of quiet, decent guy. The crazy part is, it doesn't freak me out that my daughter has a boyfriend. I talk to my girls, and I'm so open with them they talk to me too. The last thing I want to be is the overprotective parent, but I do want to be involved. I all ready know I won't be the crazy parent like I had. I also knew I was doing just fine when I got a text from my daughter after her first kiss. That's how you know you're trusted.

Kids have to be kids, and kids have to be allowed to grow. They also have to be allowed to fall in love and most likely have their heart broken. I just keep on the sidelines, always watchful and there when I'm needed.

If she gets another knee to the head I'll be right there on the field to help her up.

1 comment:

Kathy Jacobs (CallKathy) said...

Best Air Supply song ever: Two Less Lonely People in the World. Bruce proposed to me while it was playing. (One of his more romantic moments - he had set up the record stack so that it came on at just the right moment.)