Ok, seriously, if you believe that, then you really are reading the very first thing EVER that I've posted anywhere on the net.
I'm not a really private person. I'm just not. I've never been. I think a lot of it might have to do with keeping a really terrible secret for so long. It weighs you down, consumes you. So I choose to share, be open, at times overshare.
This includes the good, bad, and whiny. Why do I do it? Well, for one thing, I like connecting with others. The more the merrier for me. And what you see is what you get. The last thing I want is to not be the same in person as I am online. I actually might be a little quieter in person, but that is simply because I like to observe and listen. But I think it is safe to say that when someone who met me online finally meets me in person, they all ready know me.
That includes the grumpy side. You know those people who only post happy things? It's only about how great their life is, or OMG my husband is so amazing ALL THE TIME, or I have the best kids in the universe? Yeah, that annoys the crap out of me. Not that it's all not true, but because that only gives me one side of a person. How can I decide if you are a person I want to get to know better if I only see that? Or I only see the grumpy side? No way. If you're going to use social media, then USE social media. Show me who you are.
Back to the grumpy. I've been grumpier than usual lately. I usually realize this when my friend Scott comments on one (or all) of my grumpy updates with "#firstworldproblem." Yeah yeah, bite me. Things have been crazy upside down lately. We've been doing some home upgrades, and everywhere we turn we are tripping over something. It's seriously an episode of Horder's in the house. I'm definitely a believer now in how living in clutter can clutter your mind too, because I can hardly think straight.
Another reason for "The Grump" is my physical activity. This happened last year after I ran a half-marathon. My activity dropped, and because my eating levels remained the same well, weight was gained. This time my activity has dropped even more with all the other things happening. I just can't focus or leave the house very often while people are working in it.
It's not just the weight gain though- it's how I feel. It feels so good to exercise. Not just run, but lift weights and just be active. There is no better drug, and I feel so amazing when I'm out there moving. I feel strong. I just feel blah lately. Frumpy, sluggish, unmotivated. I remember this is how I felt prior to beginning this running thing over two years ago. And it sucks. I feel like crap.
Today while I was at the gym (once I motivated myself enough to get there) my head cleared a bit. Maybe it was a good thing I got a taste of how bad I used to feel. Not quite rock bottom, but enough of a reminder to perhaps kick me in the butt, reevaluate how I can organize my days until the work in the house is finished.
Time to quit being grumpy and get my ass moving.
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